Odds & Ends (No, I’m Not Describing Myself)

Alternate title: “In Which I Dazzle You With My Stunning Non Sequiturs”

  • Dr. Robert Edwards, the man who pioneered IVF, has died. Let’s all take a moment to honor his memory.
  • I’m on my second round of birth control for my first cycle of IVF, and I’m both butt-clenchingly nervous that a) the cycle will be cancelled due to no/poor response or I’ll hyperstimulate (please see my about page for my feelings on contradicting myself) and excited that it might work. (Ohpleaseletitwork) 
  • Tammy and I are debating transferring one or two (should we get that far/have enough to even get to make that decision). I’m curious as to how others feel on that issue, or what helped them make their decision. Potentially important facts that may influence your advice: I have “unexplained” infertility and I’m under 30. I’m waiting to hear back from my doctor, but I’d appreciate your thoughts.
  • It hasn’t gotten any easier to learn of other people’s pregnancies. I have a friend, C., who lived with my family as an exchange student from France while we were in high school. She’s been living with her boyfriend in Nepal for the past few years, and sent me a message the other day saying she was “shocked” to find herself pregnant. And then she asked what was up with me. I haven’t responded, because I’m probably incapable of finding the right balance of “oh, congratulations! How wonderful for you! And by the way my ass is barren! That’s what’s up with me!” Add in the odd assortment of high school and college friends who are popping up (and out) in my news feed with ultrasound pictures, cutesy “I’m going to be a big brother” pictures, and belly pictures and you get me, approaching Facebook like it’s loaded with TNT.
  • There is a woman at my office who may, in fact, be the devil I do not believe in. But if anyone could convince me there IS a devil, it would be her. She is THE MOST vindictive, nasty, horrifying excuse for a human being I’ve ever met. I hate her with the passion of a thousand suns. But…(there’s always a but) she’s infertile. It was passed on to me by her former assistant (why yes it IS a breach of trust/invasion of privacy, why do you ask?) that she and her husband had tried for years, probably two decades ago. And they were never successful. I’ve tried to use this information to temper my loathing with compassion (success: miniscule). But it also scares the bejeezus out of me that I’ll end up like her if I don’t have a baby. What if all of the anger, fear, bitterness and anxiety I walk around with on a daily basis goes further inward, and I end up like her – a brittle, hellish shell of a person?
  • To cleanse the palate, I leave you with this picture of my cat, Baker. He was sick a few weeks ago, and we had to take him to the vet for some shots. Here’s the picture the vet uploaded to their facebook page:

BakerHa! Love my cat. He is so freakin’ pissed off in this picture. The vet’s hip glasses, sadly, did not make him feel better.